The Super Bowl drinking game

Instead of writing a list of the Super Bowl stories you're already sick of, how about something much more productive/almost as effective at brain cell killing?

The Super Bowl drinking game!

Take a sip of your beer if the following happens:

• The announcers refer to how bad the Cardinals were/are. This includes mentions of St. Louis, Phoenix, Jake Plummer, Emmit Smith, how bad the NFC West was this season, the Cards' record.
• Anyone talks about Kurt Warner's love of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
• Ben Roethlisberger is referred to by first name alone.
• "Best receiver in the NFL" is thrown around regarding Larry Fitzgerald.
• There is talk of how many Steeler fans came out.
• Tampa is referred to as an ideal Super Bowl site before the game.
  
• Hines Ward is called "tough" or a "gamer" or anything other bullshit phrase like that.
• Any sideline shot of a sulky Anquan Boldin.
• You hear "Steel Curtain" or anything that implies the Steelers are the best football franchise ever.
  

Chug for a few seconds if the following happens:

• An announcer screams when Fitzgerald makes a leaping grab down field.
• Edge James rushes for more than three yards on any given play.
• Shots of Mrs. Warner.
• Any defensive player other than Dansby, Rodgers-Cromartie or Dockett make a significant play on defense for the Cards.
• Roethlisberger throws a ridiculously dumb pass off his back foot with four defenders in his face for a completion. Double that time if it's a TD.
  
• An announcer explodes with joy as a Steeler "jacks up" a Cardinal (note: the words "jacked up" do not need to be spoken, they are most often implied).

Break out the hard stuff for a shot if:

• There is talk about how the Cards/Steelers played as one team once like two hundred years ago.
• A Cardinals defender wins MVP.
• A Steelers offensive player other than Ben wins MVP.
• There is a special teams touchdown.
• The halftime show is actually watchable.
• The game is not over by halftime.

Steelers 31, Cardinals 14