Come and see

While the story of this NBA playoffs was made last night, with LeBron nailing the biggest shot of his life and probably the Cavs franchise, the bigger story -- which touches any and all fans of basketball -- is that this is an amazing Conference Finals.

Both series are 1-1, but what's more is there are no Spurs or Pistons -- faceless, defense-heavy monsters -- grinding out 90-89 wins. We have four superstars leading their teams to high levels of excellence.

The Four Horsemen of the NBA Apocalypse.


Revelation Six, King James (of course) version:

¹And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.

²And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

The first horsemen, Conquest, is LeBron James. Last night's "Jordan over Ehlo" moment is his crowning. Forget the Championship, which now looks like it won't be easy, this moment is historic. Win, lose or draw, LeBron James has his first of many huge moments in the playoffs.

And still he is going forth, conquering.

³And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see.

⁴And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.

Carmelo Anthony, leader of the manic Nuggets, is the second horsemen, War. The Nuggets have slaughtered their way through the playoffs to this point, led by oft-overlooked superstar Anthony. Before each series were tied 1-1, the Nuggets were seen as the threat to the inevitable Kobe/Bron finals, an agent of chaos in a predestined land.

And the reason is Anthony has finally reached his full potential, nipping at the heels of the current poster boys of the league. He carries a great sword, a skill set that is unmatched by anyone except Kobe. His scoring is so easy, so effortless, it's a joy to watch. Beating LA will take peace from this Earth.

⁵And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.

⁶And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.

In the wake of War comes Famine. Dwight Howard represents Famine, carrying the balance of the NBA with him. While the Magic rely on the three as much as Howard, with a huge game, Howard tips the scales of the Cleveland/Orlando series, with the chance to eliminate the NBA's prodigal son.

Howard is also clearly the most raw of the stars in the Conference Finals, a feast or famine player who can dominate or disappear from game to game, even quarter to quarter. And after Famine comes...

⁷And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.

⁸And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.

"Hell followed him" has never described an NBA player better than Kobe Bryant. This is his last, best shot at an NBA title. He is facing a star who may actually be better than him (Melo) and the King looms. He has 2-3 years at a high level of play, which will slowly deteriorate with each season and each deep playoff series.

And yet he still has the power to kill with the sword, hunger, death and the beasts of the Earth. He is still an assassin, a player with a killer instinct who can close games unlike any other. His team is also as talented and deep as any other and led by a legendary coach. This is his time.

It is rare we see teams this talented, this evenly matched, and led by such compelling superstars, meet at the apex of competition. So forget about the dream matchup of Kobe/Bron and enjoy these Conference Finals.

Review: 21st Century Breakdown

7.9/10.0

Somewhere within the 70 minute, 18 song rock opera that is 21st Century Breakdown you will find Green Day's best album. The latest LP from the East Bay pop punk trio is a bloated mess of a record, but the kind of mess one might expect from a group trying to follow up an album that transformed them from middle aged apathy rockers to one of the biggest bands on the planet. After the critical and commercial anomaly that was American Idiot, Green Day responds with an album that throws a lot of ideas at the wall with varying degrees of success.

In 2004, American Idiot sold 26 million units worldwide, reached #1 in nineteen countries, delivered four top 10 singles, and won the band a Grammy for Best Rock Album. After buddying up with Bono (Uh oh), recording with U2 (Oh no), and performing a John Lennon cover on American Idol (Dear god), it was clear that Green Day had established a much wider fan base than ever before. For every 13-year old emo brat listening to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" on repeat there were equal amounts of anti-Bush liberals pumping their fists against the "redneck agenda" and music critics responding to Billie Joe Armstrong's newfound lyrical inspiration.

Fully aware of the expectations all these factions had for a follow up album, Green Day disappeared for three years to figure out what to do next. Two side projects (Pinhead Gunpowder and the stellar Foxboro Hot Tubs) and a new presidency later, the band found themselves with a ton of new material (one interview suggests the band had over 70 new songs!) and no idea what to do with all of it. Should they completely abandon their new model for success and return to something more like Dookie? Should they release a stripped down affair that focused more on acoustic experimentation than electric pogo punk? Should it be political? Should it be about smoking weed?

Instead of committing to a more cohesive model, the band decided to release an album that offered a bit of everything. But by trying to please everyone, they satisfy no one.

The structure of 21st Century Breakdown is most in tune with their previous record. It is a concept album following two characters (Christian and Gloria replace Jesus of Suburbia, St. Jimmy, and Whatsername) trying to make sense of a modern American landscape post-9/11, post-Bush, and pre-Obama. The band organizes the album's tracks into a silly structure, three awkwardly titled acts with names like "Heroes and Cons" and "Horseshoes and Handgrenades". This would all make sense if the album had an actual story to tell, but 21st Century Breakdown's narrative is infuriatingly elusive.

Lyrically, the album bounces all over the place. Tracks criticizing religious extremism ("East Jesus Nowhere"), war ("21 Guns"), over-medication ("Restless Heart Syndrome"), and complacency ("Know Your Enemy") are intercut with songs describing the character's backstories (the title track) and emotional states ("¡Viva La Gloria!" and "Christian's Inferno"). Billie Joe Armstrong has always been best as a lyricist when focusing on his own feelings rather than trying to speak for everyone else. On "Last of the American Girls," one of the album's standout tracks, he tenderly describes a young rebel girl who, "wears her overcoat for the coming of the nuclear winter" and is "on a hunger strike for the ones who won't make it for dinner." He observes a more hopeful world where "the non-believers go beyond belief" on closing track "See the Light". Even on the autobiographical title track, Armstrong focuses on his own childhood with a playfully vivid imagination:

"Born into Nixon, I was raised in hell

A welfare child where the teamsters dwelled.

The last one born, the first one to run

My town was blind from refinery sun."

From the wordplay on Insomiac's "Walking Contradiction" to the "GI Joe in pantyhose" on Nimrod's "King for a Day," Billie Joe has always had a knack for the tongue-in-cheek. But for every clever phrase and witty observation, 21st Century Breakdown also contains some of Armstrong's most cringe-worthy refrains. On past albums, his biggest weaknesses lie in his propensity to over-generalize or to speak in vague metaphor. On the bizarre "Christian's Inferno," he lazily describes a diabolic state that is "gracing [his] existence like a catastrophic baby". Equally painful is the main character in "¿Viva La Gloria?" whose "soul is purging of love and razor blades." And nothing is worse than his request on "Song of the Century" for a song that is "louder than bombs and eternity."

Luckily, the album's lyrical shortcomings are overshadowed by its ambitious sonic landscape. On 21st Century Breakdown, Green Day boldly expand upon their traditional three-chord punk pop model. Even when songs fall into familiar territory, they feel fresh amongst new surroundings. "¡Viva La Gloria!" opens as an Elton John piano ballad drenched in violins before departing into power chord riffing reminiscent of "Letterbomb" from the last record. Guided by Armstrong's falsetto vocal register, "Before the Lobotomy" opens with an acoustic arpeggio before morphing into a Who-like stadium romp. Two more piano ballads, "Last Night On Earth" and "Restless Heart Syndrome" find influence from Beatles songs like "Hey Jude" and "A Day in the Life."

The most adventurous tracks are found in the album's second act. The oddly effective latin cut "Peacemaker" (a speedier kid sister to "Misery" from Green Day's Warning) would have been disastrous if it wasn't for Armstrong's enthusiastic vocals. Less successful is "¿Viva La Gloria?" which just sounds like "Blood, Sex, and Booze" (another Warning song) without all the fun. Far more exhilarating is the second leg of "American Eulogy" which provides rare and impressive lead vocals from bassist Mike Dirnt and also contains the album's most infectious chorus (Try not to sing along to the repeated lyric "I don't wanna live in the modern world." I dare you.)

The problem with 21st Century Breakdown is there is just too much material. Even with lots of fresh ideas, Armstrong and company come off as repetitive and directionless. No doubt, the album contains some of Green Day's most inspired songwriting and the expansion of their ever-growing soundscape provides exciting opportunities for the future. But presented in this structure and at this length, Breakdown comes off as bloated and pretentious.

There is absolutely no reason why this album had to be 18 songs long (honestly, what do the songs "Murder City" and "Song of the Century" bring to the table?). Somewhere in an edited, twelve song reconstruction the band has topped American Idiot. In the end, however, Green Day is guilty of offering too much Green Day. When Billie Joe repeatedly asks us if we know that our enemy is ourselves in lead single "Know Your Enemy," one can't help but wonder why he didn't know the same rule applied to himself.

New Shit has Come to Light

Browsing through Discover Magazine online today, I found two totally rad articles:

1. Zombie Ants!!!

2. Time Travel!!!

Additionally, I saw this article on NYT about Man United legend Eric Cantona and this strange but awesome-sounding new movie starring him. The article makes him sound like the coolest dude ever, mainly because of this anecdote:

After karate-kicking an opposing fan, he had a press conference to explain himself. He simply said: "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much." Awesome. Additionally, if you want to see a hilariously underrated classic football celebration, (as well as a disgusting goal, courtesy of Mr. Cantona) check out the following:

Amazing hoops ads

From what is easily my favorite sports site and home to some of the best writing on the web period, Free Darko, comes these awesome Adidas ads. They are in the style of their book (which I must get) and are great despite some pretty clear product placement.





If you liked those, scope out the book excerpts, espcially T-Mac and Gilbert.

Greatest shirt/reviews ever

A friend sent me this link today. The reviews are absolutely hilarious all the way through.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000NZW3IY/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp

Don't dream, it's over

Before seeing Animal Collective for my third time last Thursday, I remember thinking how awesome it would be to follow them on tour, Almost Famous-style. I imagined having all these weird conversations with the band, dropping acid or getting drunk with them (whatever they do) documenting it all and having it run in Rolling Stone (or whatever magazine people read). It would have been totally rad.

But then a funny thing happened.

I've only had one or two moments that really broke my heart regarding music. I remember being really bummed out when Death From Above 1979 broke up after one album and one EP -- although I begrudgingly admit MSTRKRFT are actually pretty good -- but that's pretty much it. I don't really remember Kurt Cobain dying, but Nirvana was big for me, so I was probably sad.

But after seeing Animal Collective on tour supporting their amazing Merriweather Post Pavilion, something just wasn't right.

I can recall many a conversation revolving around Animal Collective being the best live band I'd ever seen or the only band I would actually want to follow on tour. Hyperbole like that. But it was all genuine. I really did feel they were our generation's Grateful Dead or Pink Floyd. A band so weird, so brilliant, so trippy -- that seeing them was an experience that seemed like it would never stop feeling fresh. And I don't even smoke weed.

This may all sound weird to anyone who doesn't love Animal Collective, but they are mine (and many, many others) favorite band at the moment, and easily one of the most important acts of the past five years or so. And one of the hardest things in life is admitting something you love isn't so great anymore.

I am afraid Animal Collective -- live, at the very least -- has reached that point.


Maybe it was the fact that I felt old for one of the first times in my young life. Yeah I'm only 23, and everyone over 30 is telling me to die in a fire, but I also just graduated college, have a job (not a "career") I am not a huge fan of, am seeing a lot of my friends move further away, living at home again and have no money. Life is weird for the college graduate. You aren't a partying college dude anymore. You aren't a care-free high schooler anymore. You're an adult. But you still like going to concerts, drinking yourself silly, playing video games, staying up late watching pointless TV and doing all the other dumb shit young people do.

But the thing is, everyone who between the ages of 16-20 likes doing all that too. And I swear, the average age of the kids at the House of Blues in Boston that night was 16. Seventeen at the most. It was very odd. It made me think, "Why am I here? Should I be going to see Hall and Oates (the answer, of course, is yes) or something?"

And as Animal Collective went through a particularly unremarkable rendition of "My Girls" -- probably my favorite song of 2009 so far -- I knew seeing them would never be what it used to be. And that sucked.

A certain Satan Manning remarked that Animal Collective are driving the motorcycle up to the ramp, ready to jump the shark. They haven't quite yet, but it's coming. And this is going to sound like indie kid douchebaggery, but fuck, that sucks. I don't want to see my band become what hundreds and hundreds of other bands have become.

I guess I can can chalk it up to this being the third time I've seen them. The first two were great, unforgettable. But this performance was completely forgettable. Not good, not bad. When I go to write my book of all the concerts I saw and what happened (with somewhere between 50-75 percent of the facts made up), this Animal Collective show will not get a chapter. Or maybe it will. I'll call it "The Day the Music Died" or something dramatic like that.

Animal Collective are still a great band. Merriweather Post Pavilion is still a great album. Hell, I will probably see them the next time they come around.

But if it's anything like this night, I have no idea how I'll feel. Probably really, really old.

Funny(?) People

Here is a great article about Judd Apatow's new movie in the Times. I'm interested to see how this turns out.