Greatest Superpower

An open question, please leave your response as a comment.  I want to know what people think.  For myself, I think I would have to say Invisibility.  This includes the ability to turn it on and off, because that was a setback someone mentioned to me.  I would not wish to live my life like Skinner from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...  I thought for a moment about not having to sleep.  Because the obvious advantage of not being tired and the extra time is glorious.  But with more thought I realized that sleep is extremely enjoyable and... dreams? No brainer...

Every Drunk Night Ever

Movies are a Depo's best friend...

Hey guys, I know I haven't posted anything yet and I'm sorry. Your posts have been radical and I've enjoyed reading them. Jesse mentioned "The Wrestler", so I thought I'd post a link to the review I wrote about it a week or so ago. I'll be posting other stuff soon (ie, my top 10 movies of 2008)...I just need to find the time.

In the meantime...count it.

Week, I Hardly Knew Ye

Video Games
On a whim I picked up Call of Duty: World at War, and I fell in love. With intense action, great online, and a rewarding upgrade system, the game keeps on giving. Few things are more beautiful than unleashing a pack of attack dogs on your enemy. World at War, I love you, God loves you.

I finally rented Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe, and it rules! Somehow they made sense out of two very different franchises merging. The DC characters are so much fun to use that there is no need to even touch the MK side of things. This is just a rental though, as I'm not sure how much mileage you can truly get out of this game.

Reading
I had a snow day from work the other day (paid!), so I read a butt load. JLA: Tower of Babel is my first, and last, JLA comic. It wasn't bad, but I just don't give a damn about Aquaman or Wonder Woman. Batman and Superman are great as always though, this guy gets a 6/10.

Batman: Dark Victory is the sequel to The Long Halloween (Fun and important fact, both were written by Jeph Loeb, who also wrote Commando!). Batman is quite dark here, a certain sidekick is introduced, and all the essential villains make an appearance. For a fan of the Bat, it is a must read. 8/10!

Bizarro Comics isn't for the comic noob. Tons of guest artists and writers (Matt Groening and James Kochalka) create brief and often hilarious scenes featuring all of the famous DC characters. The guest strips are bookmarked by a truly hilarious Bizarro story. After reading a good amount of DC, pick this up, love it. 7/10

The eternal struggle also continues with Infinite Jest, a book that is certainly not good for reading on the train.

TV
Tool Academy, comic gold

Music
Acquired a few Woody Guthrie albums, the dude was WAY ahead of his time.
Ozzy-Blizzard of OZZ, just attempt to resist "Mr. Crowley"
As for the new Animal Collective, I still haven't decided...

Be on ze look out for...
BJM Thursday April 2, Paradise
Dr. Dog Friday April 3, Paradise (they are AWESOME live)

We need to pimp this blog!

Linksauce

First Google Images result for "link"

Best Batman game ever? No doubt. [Kotaku/1up]

Hey! He signed. He's not a total dumbass. [MLBTR]

I am really disheartened by the lack of Commando here. [Unreality]

Nearly as funny as the original. Optimus Prime indeed. [CollegeHumor]

Oh, that's great. Every band I love at one place? I wish I wasn't poor. So, so poor... [The Tape]

The Super Bowl drinking game

Instead of writing a list of the Super Bowl stories you're already sick of, how about something much more productive/almost as effective at brain cell killing?

The Super Bowl drinking game!

Take a sip of your beer if the following happens:

• The announcers refer to how bad the Cardinals were/are. This includes mentions of St. Louis, Phoenix, Jake Plummer, Emmit Smith, how bad the NFC West was this season, the Cards' record.
• Anyone talks about Kurt Warner's love of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
• Ben Roethlisberger is referred to by first name alone.
• "Best receiver in the NFL" is thrown around regarding Larry Fitzgerald.
• There is talk of how many Steeler fans came out.
• Tampa is referred to as an ideal Super Bowl site before the game.
  
• Hines Ward is called "tough" or a "gamer" or anything other bullshit phrase like that.
• Any sideline shot of a sulky Anquan Boldin.
• You hear "Steel Curtain" or anything that implies the Steelers are the best football franchise ever.
  

Chug for a few seconds if the following happens:

• An announcer screams when Fitzgerald makes a leaping grab down field.
• Edge James rushes for more than three yards on any given play.
• Shots of Mrs. Warner.
• Any defensive player other than Dansby, Rodgers-Cromartie or Dockett make a significant play on defense for the Cards.
• Roethlisberger throws a ridiculously dumb pass off his back foot with four defenders in his face for a completion. Double that time if it's a TD.
  
• An announcer explodes with joy as a Steeler "jacks up" a Cardinal (note: the words "jacked up" do not need to be spoken, they are most often implied).

Break out the hard stuff for a shot if:

• There is talk about how the Cards/Steelers played as one team once like two hundred years ago.
• A Cardinals defender wins MVP.
• A Steelers offensive player other than Ben wins MVP.
• There is a special teams touchdown.
• The halftime show is actually watchable.
• The game is not over by halftime.

Steelers 31, Cardinals 14

Fallout 3

Definitely one of the most original, in-depth, all around games I would say created up to this point.  This is obviously a very swayed opinion because this is by far one of my favorite games in console history.  Fallout 3 combines multiple genres into one, fantastically!  Technically people will say it is an RPG, and it is, you are thrown into an unfamiliar world, into an intriguing storyline, and into a character.  I haven't played very many RPG's in my video game history, so I don't really know the common attributes of them, however, but Fallout has the whole deal.  Upgradeable skills, great "perks", and a leveling system with experience.  Beyond just a role-playing game though, Fallout 3 also combines aspects of an action-shooter, adventure, and problem-solving game with great finesse.  The game is immersive and unbelievably realistic, giving you the choice to do ultimately whatever you want.  Steal ruthlessly, kill whomever (main characters included), go wherever you want, skip missions, lie to people, and even charm your way through some situations.  Apart from the actual gameplay, the game itself, is incredibly "FULL."  There is a main plot, however, seemingly everyone you talk to will have some task or side mission that they want you to do.  This fact coupled with the immense size of the map, make the game playable for more than "a couple hours," like many games today.  Having completed only half the game I have prolly spent 40 hours of pure gameplay already.  AND, the game has great replay value, since you can approach the game with different skill sets and choices each time you would play it.  You could be a sneaky evil thief (like myself), or the strong, blunt force hero.  Oh ya, I forget to mention, insane gore...  I have to look up how many hours were put into making it because I can't imagine how long it took to put every plate, tin can, pack of cigarettes, etc., that exists in the game, in it.

Well now I need a PS3

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

I seriously don't think a big enough deal has been made about the fact that the above movie is has been the number 1 movie in America for 2 or 3 weeks straight. Granted, I have not seen the above movie, but the Metascore (yeah I said it) is 39, and the Rotten Tomatoes score is an abysmal 27%. So don't give me any bull about "Oh, you haven't seen it". I think the most depressing thing is that there are solid movies out there, perhaps even great movies, that are playing in theaters that are not being seen in favor of PB:MC. Gran Torino and the Wrestler both came out very recently, and both are very, very worth seeing. And I hate how people say, "Well the economy is shaky, so everybody wants to see escapist movies." Fuck that, I think that there are few things worse than spending my hard earned money to waste an hour and a half of my day having my eyes bleed to the garbage that is Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

In other news, America is also retarded in voting Fly Khicks safe and Ring Masters not safe. Fly Khicks just had (another) shitty performance (at least this time nobody fell during the routine, unlike last week (oddly enough, in the 1-1/2 seasons that I've been watching this show, that is the only mess-up I've ever noticed) that only gets gets votes because the people voting are douchey horn-dogs that love to see six trollops gallavanting around the stage in short-ass skirts. Seriously, Ring Masters are the most insane performers ever, if they lose tonight I'm throwing something to my TV.

Also, typing Paul Blart: Mall Cop into the label-entry box makes me feel strangely guilty.

Glenn

The humor in this is pretty subtle, but it is Danzig!

Jason Varitek is an idiot

Jason Varitek has been riding his reputation for about two seasons now. He's regarded as a once great offensive catcher who "knows how to handle the Sox pitching staff" and is "a great clubhouse guy." But how much is that worth, really?

Remember how good I used to be? Pay me like that. Now.

It appears Varitek is on the verge of refusing a ridiculously generous offer of $5 mil/one season plus a club option, opting to "retire or sit out '09."

Red Sox fan or not, this is a prime example of the insanity that is baseball signing. Forget the Sabathia's and Teixeira's signing huge deals - hell, they earn it. It's deals like this that really harm baseball.

Here are two players 2008 seasons. Can ya guess which one is Varitek?

.220/13/43/.313 OBP/.359 SLG/73 OPS+ and 28.5% runners caught
.237/6/30/.340 OBP/.359 SLG/87 OPS+ and 35% runners caught

Player A is Varitek, while player B is Gregg Zaun - who just signed with the Orioles for...$1.5 million in 2009 with an option for 2010.

Zaun is straight up better than Varitek at this point in their careers. Zaun is one year older, but costs one fifth as much and has better numbers across the board. And this is not a one season anamoly. Zaun has outperformed Varitek for the past three seasons.

Now, many will say "Well Zaun doesn't know the pitchers!"and they'd be right. But honestly, how much does that affect pitchers effectiveness? One percent? Ten? It's a farce.

I'm all for loyalty to a great player whose only known Boston. But there comes a time when economics outweigh loyalty. If he doesn't want to play for fives times more than his market worth, let him go.

Gimme Zaun and $4 mil. over Varitek any day.

The Real World

How do I get sucked into this crap? A few thoughts on the current season...

- Chet may be the worst cast member ever. His goal, to be the host of TRL (TOOL)

- One of the reasons The Real World has been watchable for so long is that there is always at least one gorgeous girl. Not this year. Baya? Super cute, but not a bombshell. One has a weiner, another is stacked but can't lead the pack, and one is a Suicide Girls reject. C'mon MTV...

- There is plenty of great unintentional humor, mostly thanks to the bro-dudes and JD the dolphin trainer/drunk

- The best moment so far was "The Machine" turning down army guy's terrible songs. Thanks for your service

How does everybody else feel about this season?

Finding a decent hobby

So, I've had a lot of free time on my hands lately. Exorbitant amounts you might even say. Were it not for tv or the internet, I would probably know how it felt to be a farmer in the 1800s in the middle of winter. Really boring. Well, I've been thinking that I need to pick up a hobby, because quite honestly, free time has been something of a new concept to me. Working on general election I had 4 days off from June 1-Nov 4. Before that I had school to occupy me, and before that the NH primary took up every waking moment of my life. Long story short, you forget how to have fun on your own. Take a job with regular hours and a social life, trust me. So I've been trying to come up with a hobby that is cost effective, sustainable, and generally fun. Video games can be fun, but the last couple years I haven't been able to get into them as I have in the past. I don't know if its just my interests changing, because I still like them, or the games I've tried have just not hooked me. Even completing a game feels more like a chore than fun at this point. 

Beer making is fun, but its really just 90 minutes of boiling, 2 hours of cleaning, moving containers, bottling, and a lot of waiting. Then you have a lot of beer that may be of suspect quality and you also have to want to drink all of that, unless you have a place for a lot of people to enjoy it. So that's good once in awhile, but not long term as its own hobby. 

I've been running every day to get back into better shape, and I have to say, I still loathe running. I have several uncles in state and federal law enforcement, and they have to work out for their jobs, but they hate it as much as I do, so it must be genetic. I'll go along with that reasoning just because I can. So it doesn't look like marathon running or weight lifting will be my new hobby anytime soon.

Reading is great. Nothing like finding a book that you just can't put down. I actually did get a lot of reading done in NH. I managed to read the original books in the Dune series. Now that was a great series. But the thing with books is that its a hobby that consumes and doesn't produce. You pay for a book or borrow one from the library, but when you finish you don't have anything substantial to point to and say "yeah I did that." Not a huge sense of accomplishment or achievement.

So what do you all do for hobbies? Sitting around gets old, what've y'all got going on when you've got nothing else to do?

Desquentos Much?

David David David David Dave Dave Dave Dave Daaaaaave Dave Dave

C'mon, you know the tune.

Probably the wrong direction

I would arguably say that this will point you in the wrong, yet delicious direction.

The Right Direction 1/28/09

This should point you in the right direction.

Job hunting sucks

Job hunting sucks enough to begin with, but it wasn't so bad only a year or two ago. Now, I don't mean to say that being unemployed at any point in time didn't suck, or that it was necessarily easier at one point or another, but there was a level of respect towards the applicant that seems to have been tossed in the dumpster next empty beer cans, dead cats, and the local homeless man. In the past if you applied for a job, you got an acknowledgement that you were considered and the job went to someone else. Fine, it's going to happen. You aren't going to get everything you put your name in for, but at the very least, you used to get confirmation that your application was received, even if they made it clear you wouldn't be contacted unless you were selected for an interview. What happened to that? I've sent out 31 applications and resumes to various employers and I've gotten just one response. One. 1. Uno. Ein. Even then it was just a one line rejection because I got the person's personal email address from a person that knew them. Where the fuck did common courtesy go? If someone sent me a response to a job that I posted I would feel pretty obligated to at the very least thank them for putting the effort in. I can only imagine how they treat their employees and clients when they can't take 5 seconds to try to expand their employee base. Bah.

My Least Favorite Places in a Galaxy Far, Far, Away

I love Star Wars, but nothing is perfect. The Star Wars Galaxy is filled with desolate shit holes, ridiculous architecture, and a-hole man-bot slaves. I am pleased to present you my least favorite places in the Star Wars Galaxy.

3. Kashyyyk
You may know Kashyyyk as the home of Chewbacca and his Wookiee crew. I know Kashyyyk as the giant Ewok Village ripoff, but less practical. Why would eight foot tall dog men need mile high tree houses? What are they hiding from? They have bowcaster blasters! For the love of God, Imagine how disgusting the bathroom situation must be...

2. Naboo
Jar Jar Binks was born here.

1. Cloud City, Bespin
Ugh... UGHHHHHHH. Cloud City bothers me so much. First off, what kind of moron stays on Cloud City after Space Pimp Lando wins it through a game of sabacc? Apparently, Cloud City is a resort, a resort that is 3/4 industry. Cloud City exports a highly flammable gas, which is refined underneath the high class hotels and casinos. This has to be a safety code violation Lando! Lando also has quite the supporting cast. The slave Ugnaughts are the oompaloompas to Lando's Willy Wonka, and then there is Lobot. The creepiest dude in the galaxy. I mean, look at him...



Honorable Mention: Skywalker Ranch

USA, USA

I want to give some major respect to Andy Roddick. I tuned in to some Australian Open action last night and watched the perennial underachiever battle a first set loss and insane heat (129 degrees!!!) to defeat Novak Djokovic. Djokovic, trailing two sets to one, "retired" in the fourth set due to cramping, or, more likely, a lack of something deep inside we like to call heart. What made this all the sweeter for Roddick is that Djokovic called him out before the match, dismissing Roddick's status as a "favorite"in the tournament (or at least, I think that is what happened based on a headline on ESPN.com). Now, normally I don't like Roddick, but watching him hit the living shit out of the ball and running all over the court as Djokovic used his Boo-like (yeah, dropping some Mario Tennis knowledge on you) bag of tricks to try and stifle Roddick made me proud to be a citizen of the good old US of mother fucking A.

In other sports news (unrelated to the US), rumours are swirling that AC Milan want to sign the one and only David Beckham full-time. He has been starting (and by all accounts, playing well, including his first goal over the weekend) for Milan, who have made no secret of their designs to lure Beckham to Italy for good. What seems to be standing in the way currently is that he is on loan from the Galaxy, who want him back come March (as per the original agreement). I for one would love to see him play for the Rossoneri beyond March, as watching him in the MLS would be like watching Tom Brady (pre-injury) QB for a pee-wee team.

Ocean State Joblot: Recession Proof

Ocean State Joblot may have the most genius business plan in history. They actually thrive during recession. Business booms. Think about it: large businesses go out of business. Joblot vulchurously swoops down upon the rotting carcass of bigbox and medium size stores hawking their newly gotten wares at discount prices to thousands of customers who no longer can afford to shop elsewhere and are willing to buy lower end equipment. Revenues increase allowing joblot to buy even better stuff from the next round of close outs (I expect to see some decent home flooring tile coming out of the Expo closures announced today). It is genius. All the while the more people out of the work, the more they shop at job lot. The more job lot exands. The more people they hire. Job Lot could single handidly end this recession. Not only that, if you extrapolate the trend outward a year or two, Job Lot could be offering some seriously decent quality wares at low prices and not only build a decent reputation but begin to challenge big stores like best buy, radio shack, home depot, etc. They ought to really capitalize on this. This is as good as it gets for them.

Superlatives for 2008

Since people are doing some reflections on the past year I thought I would do some one liners on the topic.

2008 was voted:

Revolutionary

Biggest flirt (Economy shits the bed, gas gets cheap)

Ok fuck that, 2008 was pretty sweet for me. I helped deliver the first primary win for a serious female candidate. I graduated from college. Put myself enormously in debt. Took a job, moved to virginia beach, beat our vote goals, swept the state. That was pretty sweet. 

Next thing I know, I'm back in town, expecting to find a job in Boston or DC with ease. 3 months later here I am. It was a pretty good epic ride that went from 100mph to 0 instantly if not sooner. Bummer, man.

2008 was a good year. We'll leave the job hunting for a later post of epic ranting. 

Tops for 08:

Movies: 

Ok I actually only saw like 4 movies in all of 2008. AVP 2, Cloverfield, Dark Knight, and I swear there was something else. Oh well. Anyway, Dark Knight was easily the only real movie in there, and as part of my office's forced family fun program we were required to see it as a team. Best thing I did all summer. I liked the fresh take on the Joker, and the reimagining in general. 

Music: 

Introduced to MGMT, Crystal Castles, Girl Talk, Cut Copy, that was probably about it. Been a tough year trying to find time to find new things. Crystal castles is still one of my favorites out of those. They're one of those groups that I can just zone out to. Electronic music has always been something I've liked and I'm glad it isn't just dismissed like it has been in the past. 

TV:

Again, haven't had much time for this. Battlestar Galactica had a decent half season, ending on a really strong, depressing, and altogether soul crushing note. Which was really awesome if I do say so. It's refreshing to having something that isn't always a fucking ray of sunshine, where you never know when main characters will be unceremoniously killed off. For 2009 I'm going to take several people's advice and watch The Wire, which is more or less a spiritual successor to one of my favorite shows of all time Homocide: Life on the Street.

Anyway, I know this is a weak first post, but I'm just doing it off the cuff. Tomorrow I'll have something a bit more substantial. 

The week (?) that was

Since the ice has been broken, the cherry popped, let me throw my two cents in regarding the past week

Music:

Animal Collective, MPP: It's fucking great. Steal it if you have to. But then give AC the money, because they seem like nice guys.

Titus Andronicus, The Airing of Grievances: I missed this is the whirlwind that was 2008, but this is a bad ass punk record. Not balls out like Fucked Up, but with more "indie" influences and varied instrumentation. The lyrics may been juvenile ("Fuck everything, fuck me"), but they have energy in spades.

Everything Jay Reatard has ever made: Seriously, the man's a genius in my book. From '06's "Blood Visions" to the singles he released this year, it's all great.

Wavves, singles from his forthcoming album: Hailing from The Smell (a place that many other bands that are enjoyable hail from), Wavves is one dude, super lo-fi and pretty much just about smoking pot and having nothing to do. It's already fairly hyped, and I bet he'll be this year's Vivian Girls - a lo-fi punk darling that will have a sizable backlash in no time.

Books:

American Psycho, Ellis: I've been wanting to read this forever, as I found the movie enjoyable. The book version destroys it in every way possible. More violent, more insane and much more well done.

The most soul-crushing business card of all-time.

The Crying of Lot 49, Pynchon: Most well-known for "Gravity's Rainbow," Pynchon is one crazy genius. 49 tells the story of the quest for the truth regarding the worldwide conspiracy that is the U.S. Postal Service. Or something like that. It's confusing, funny, postmodern, weird and the hardest 175 pages I've ever read. I already started his other novel "Vineland" and have "V." on deck. So yeah, for all his craziness, his writing is pretty awesome.

TV:

Friday Night Lights, Season 2: Friday Night Lights is the perfect show. When you talk about it, it sounds like a manly football show - and it is, kind of. But in reality, it's a high school drama - which, deep down, everyone loves. I've already blown through a dozen episodes in a matter of a few days (Hulu, ftw!) and will probably go back to season one once I'm done.

Video games:

Persona 3 FES, PS2: I really needed a time sink RPG for these "tough economic times" (a.k.a. I have no job) and I've heard great things about the Persona series. You play as a kid at a high school where you fight monsters by night and manage interpersonal relationships and afterschool activities by day. The great bit is that these are related - friendships with certain people strengthen the different "personas" (typical summons from any game). It sounds complicated and dumb writing it down, but I can easily seen dropping 50+ hours into this bad boy. Not bad for a dead system.

Oh, and the characters shoot themselves in the head (fast forward to about 1:00) to summon personas. Eat that censors!

Prince of Persia, Xbox 360: I dabbled in The Sands of Time when it was new on the original Xbox, and since I borrowed this (thanks Wig), price was not an issue. I have not been disappointed. This is was Mirror's Edge should have been, a seamless platforming experience with shiny visuals and a passable story. The game is not "dumbed down" as many complained, the controls simply allow you to do some slick things. You'll go from wallrun to ring grab to wall jump to another wall run to pole climb with the press of a few buttons. It feels a lot like a rhythm game, where timing and visual cues are key. Oh, and the combat is based on one-on-one duels, which is refreshing in this world of "get 48574389 Locusts on screen!!!!111"

Left 4 Mothafuckin Dead, Xbox 360: Still owns, versus cheats and all. I am still not tired of the maps (but a patch wouldn't hurt...) and the announcement of a PC patch to fix bugs coming to the 360 soon will only make things better. It's great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Delicious, Bring More

Here goes for momentous first post...

Points of interest of the last week, listed in no particular order

MUSIC
AC - Merriweather Post Pavilion: EVER HEARD OF IT. I'm not yet convinced that this is one of the best albums of the decade, as some reviews have called it (this fact has piqued my interest in whether it is even justly possible to call any piece of art "classic" without a proper historical context, both past and future (interesting connetion regarding this later). That being said, it sounds so far like it may well be my favorite AC album, and "Summertime Clothes" is a total jam.

Arthur Russell - Calling out of Context: I only heard of this dude because Jens Lekman loves him. Apparently, he was a major disco producer/amazing cellist/avant-garde musician. This album is pretty neat, with lots of drum machine complemented by his beautiful vocals. I don't know how I would classify it. It isn't disco or anything, although I think the album gives you a sense that he could be involved in that scene. Any term I give it will probably be hideously artificial and, moreover, lame/elitist-sounding (i.e., I was thinking of saying avant-pop), but I'll just leave it with it is nice to listen to and certainly deserving of your time.

The Presets - Beams: They're on the Modular label (aka, Muscles' label), and that was enough to convince me to get it. I can't for the life of me tell who they remind me of, but they're pretty rad. The songs are kind of hit or miss, but a few are killer. Dance music with heavy bass and effected vocals...oh efff...I just realized that I think it is the Killers that they remind me of (sick!!!) because of the way he sings and the effect they use is very similar to the one used on the Killers' first album. The music itself is more house-based than the Killers (at least it better be because I've got to try convince my hipster self that liking the Presets is still OK), with no guitar and just heavy bass, drums and synth.

BOOKS
David Foster Wallace - Consider the Lobster: This is a collection of some essays that he did, and they are universally rad. He has a way of writing about seemingly anything that is incredibly intelligent yet accesible and all the while he never comes off as pretentious in the least. This is particularly evident (considering the amount of subtlety required to pull off said trick) in one piece that he wrote about the war over usage and grammer in the English language (which was seriously fascinating). I just started one essay about an English professor who was writing a multi-volume series about Dostoevsky and his works. More to the point, this professor was attempting to demonstrate that to fully appreciate his works, one has to understand the socio-historical context they were written in and how they both reflect and comment upon this context. This is what I was getting at with the point about AC. More specifically, I feel like a classic album must exert significant influence among future artists, and, obviously then, any such designations cannot be honestly made without the benefit of time's revelations.

Cormac McCarthy - Blood Meridian: This book is about 10 times as BA as No Country for Old Men. Need I say more. And if you are still unconvinced (i.e., aren't a dude), he is an incredibly stylish and brilliant writer, and the way he tells the story is as good as the story (which involves a kid who travels to Mexico and becomes part of a group ruthless mercenaries that kill Indians to get the bounty money for their scalps). Semi-relatedly, I love in No Country the movie when Llewelyn (sp???) asks re: Shigur (see previous parenthesis), "Is this guy supposed to be the ultimate bad ass or something?" Wouldn't that be the coolest title to have, every? Seriously.

TV

America's Best Dance Crew: At least two reasons why this rules. 1) What they do is so beyond my comprehension of Things that are Possible for Me to Do Ever (esp. Ringmaster, much respect). 2) The judging is great and usually hilarious, and I especially love JC because rather than spouting off random bull (like Lil Mama and whatever the other dude's name is) he actually has meaningful, pointed criticism. Also, Fly Chicks need to lose. Last time I checked, the show is not called America's Best Ass Shakers (HATE HATE HATE).