Indie rock :: The NBA as Peanut butter :: Chocolate

In his latest column Bill Simmons wrote the following: "When you watch Miami, it's like watching a White Stripes concert -- tons of talent, great music, but still just a little bit gimmicky because it's only two people."

First off: fuck you. The White Stripes are not a gimmick and will go down as one of the best bands of the 2000s and are certainly seminal for almost everyone my age. Second of all: fuck you for not going further.

If we are to believe the Heat are the White Stripes (which is wrong anyway, because see one Bosh, Chris), then who are the Lakers? Celtics? Thunder? Hornets?

LA Lakers = Animal Collective

Simply the best. Anyone who argues otherwise is a fool. They both have ruled the 2000s and remain stronger than ever, often with different iterations as the years wore on.

For reference:
Kobe = Panda Bear - Unquestioned leader/most talented. Capable of going solo to great success, but achieving true transcendence as a part of something greater.
Artest = Geologist - Willing to do the dirty work. The eccentric.
Pau = Avery Tare - Is the actual alpha while ceding the spotlight to Kobe/Panda Bear.
Odom = Deakin - Unrealiable, but when he's on, they go to another level.

Boston Celtics = New Pornographers

While individual members from both found success apart, together they embody the term superteam/supergroup. Able to supplant egos and personalities for the greater good. Rondo is obviously Neko Case, while KG is Dan Bejar, and Pierce is A.C. Newman.

OKC Thunder = Sleigh Bells

Led by/composed of two uber-talented stars (KD as vocalist Alexis Krauss and Westbrook as everything else-ist Derek Miller), also may be a victim of too much hype. Frenetic, up-tempo, and fun to watch. Still much to prove.

Utah Jazz = Vampire Weekend

Safe, white, rooted in traditions that came before them, and sneaky great. Both have very annoying fans.

New Orleans Hornets = Kanye West

A sublime talent supported by a revolving door of guests. Both West and Paul should be considered all-time greats by those who don't and both still have more bullet points to add to the resume.

San Antonio Spurs = Spoon

Sustained, subtle greatness. Every year it seems they remind everyone how rock-soild they are, only to fade in the background amidst our lust for the new. Eventually we will look back and realize how defining they were.

Miami Heat = Arcade Fire

Each have two all-timers (Funeral as Lebron, Neon Bible as Wade) and one question mark (Bosh and Suburbs), along with not much else. When they are on, there is absolutely no one better. Not nearly as deep as most contemporaries and historically, may be destined to fall short.