Sunday, August 23, 2009

Famous Folders, Celebrity Crinklers

Health care schmealthcare, wiping technique is something that effects everyone. Whether you are a toilet paper folder, a toilet paper crinkler, or the rare switch wiper, you take great pride in your method. It is impossible for the folder to fathom the primitive crinkle, improbable that the crinkler will evolve to the fold. There may truly be no right or wrong way to wipe, at least you are wiping, but the debate will surely last until the end of days. Free the Basement has uncovered some famous folders and celebrity crinklers.

Ric Flair
One of the greatest humans to ever live, Flair has won countless professional wrestling championships. Every woman's dream, Flair has not wiped his own ass since he hit puberty, his harem does that for him. We have learned that Flair's women are strictly told to fold his silk toilet wipes. Folder

Andrew W.K.
This man loves to party, and while he may be an eloquent speaker and the voice of a generation, he is also wild in the bathroom. Crinkler

Ichiro Suzuki
Baseball's best hitter comes from a meticulous Japanese culture, it should be no surprise that the outfielder is a folder. What may surprise the reader is that Ichiro folds his t.p. into origami cranes before use. Folder

Megan Fox
Girls don't poop.

Barack Obama
The chain smoking, blackberry toting, super smooth, ruler of the free world is clearly short on time. When Mr. President gets the job done he doesn't waste a second. Crinkler

1 comment:

  1. Excellent bicentennial post. Had me smiling. I remember a similar conversation we had about "leaning" vs "hovering" whilst wiping. I also remembering minds being blown that there was even an alternative.

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