Celtics/Magic game six liveblog

So this thing got started late beause I was watching Breaking Bad. That show is great.

A great man once said: "You start me up." Strap in, because this is a 2,000-word, three hours in the making, monster -- of a game you probably already saw. But there are jokes! Kind of.

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8:30 - Rajon Rondo passes like Fran Tarkenton. Big Baby misses the low/mid-ranger off a Rondo side arm, one-handed bounce pass.

7:02 - How do announcers not talk about Alston being a former street ball player every time he does anything? This should have been beaten into the ground by now. 8-8 after a Turkoglu non-three.

5:41 - Howard misses what looked like a shot attempt. He has so few moves, it's amazing to me he is considered an elite player.

4:45 - Doc T.O. Your shooting percentages right now: 23 and 43. I just found out there will be a Deadpool movie starring Reynolds. Up next: Robin starring Shia LaBoeuf!

3:58 - Allen barely misses a three, his eleventh miss from deep. And the series is tied at two games. Nuts.

2:57 - Correction, Howard does have one move. Get fouled. After the foul, the manfreak turns it over.

2:16 - Sexy break from the Magic (ball didn't touch the floor on two passes) for the easy two. 16-14 Magic.

1:04 - Reggie tells me Dwight has eight boards already with no points. There's got to be a way to adjust his rebounding numbers playing on a team that shoots 60 threes a game.

End of first: 22-16 Magic. The Celtics are shooting % is almost less than my age, so it should be much worse.

Look, Land of the Lost looks shitty, but Kenny Powers and Ferrell can't both be in a movie that isn't at least funny at some point. If I had children, I would not be opposed to seeing this.

11:40 - Perkins picks up foul number two on what looked like defense to me. Starrrrrrrrrrrbury comes in and is ready to look awkward.

11:23 - And we have a Tony "Batman" Battie sighting!

11:02 - Scal makes a three, making the crowd forget he's already missed two. 24-19 Magic.

10:31 - I am convinced Davis cannot dunk, or chooses not to. He comes up with some funky lay-in for two off a Starbury assist.

10:01 - House for three. The "burning house" puns are writing themselves as we speak...

8:52 - The tired phrase "twin towers" should never be thrown around -- but especially not when it involves Battie.

Reggie's toughest defenders is relevant to my interests.

8:11 - Scal does what he do -- foul better players. Lee hits a jumper to push the lead to eight.

6:38 - These profiles on foregin players featuring what we all (ignorantly) imagine when thinking of said country never cease to amaze me.

5:54 - Scal for three again. He's good for at least five more attempts this game.

5:30 - House with the steal and lay in. Most exciting play of a game consisting mostly of missed shots and non-shooting fouls. Uncle Mo is at the door. 33-28 Magic.

Of course MBV3D is the best 3-D horror film ever. There have been < style="font-style: italic;">actual play that difficult? Wait, then they show video of what was just telestrated. Awesome. And during the NFL draft? Please. "Oh look, we can move picks around!" Well guess what, so can a TV graphic, and it costs a tenth as much and makes you look less douche-y. This is why our economy is balls right now -- unnecessary $10,000 touch screen telestrators.

Just so you know, Kenny's twitter (@TheJetOnTNT) is ridiculous and makes no sense. He has one long post split into three that reads like a complete sentence. Actual post: "before the game.. HE also said he did call him and his agent with no response" regarding Cuban and Ms. Mart.

"This is...Kenny Smith with...TNT." You're doing it wrong!

Steady as She Goes by The Racontuers as the half-time lead-in? What universe am I in? Back to ball, finally.

11:10 - Rafer with a nutty floater/and-one on Pierce. 48-37 after the freebie.

10:54 - Dwight bumps Rondo, who throws up an off-balance bank that only falls because he's Rondo.

9:35 - We were dangerously close to seeing the Redick celebration.

9:27 - Pierce goes 6-6 from the line, the only Celt to get to the line. ~ 12 FT for a game? That is not good at all.

9:03 - Howard picks up foul number three pushing Rondo after a rip. That was a flop. No doubt about it.

7:18 - SVG calls a T.O. after a Pierce jumper cuts the lead to six. Vinny Del Negro would have waited until it was at one.

And the Bruins are going to game seven at home. Not that I will even pretend to be interested, but I think the NHL would rather have BOS than CAR deep in the playoffs.

7:02 - Lewis hits a three while some Celtic (Baby?) attempts to defend. 55-46 Magicians. The threes are dropping (already more than last game) and when that happens, the Magic win.

6:32 - GORTAT IS BETTER THAN HOWARD. Takes the charge, four on Rondo. Enormous play.

5:32 - Both teams hover at 31% shooting for the quarter. Where amazing happens indeed.

5:02 - See, Gortat drops in nice hooks, not thunderous dunks. He's a gentle European. 57-46 Magic after a Starbury miss. Yeah, he probably can't give the Celtics what they need (scoring, passing, decision making, basketball playing skill) right now.

3:45 - BLOCKED! (note: this picture is [as far as I know] real. I did not Shop it)

2:50 - Allen abuses Redick, who is, depsite reports, an actual paid, NBA bench player.

2:08 - Gortat flops. I will not mention Vlade/Varejao, I will not mention Vlade/Varejao, I will not mention Vlade/Varejao. 59-52 The Kingdom.

1:41 - Great ball movement from the Celtics big men, Perkins to Baby for the easy one.

1:21 - Viva la France! Pietrus for three. 62-54 *Sponsored by Disney*

0:37 - Pierce goes into Lee's chest, draws one, and drops it in. 64-59 after the gimme.

0:26 - And the Whirling Turkish answers with a three-the-hard way of his own.

End of third: House hits a three, but it's during golden time. No bucket.

Best parts of the Yao/shrimp ad? Both from Yao: "Don't be like a baby" or "Eat the head!"

From Simmons, then Skeets via the Twit: "Dwight Howard might be the worst great player ever. I swear that made sense." And me in quarter one: "He has so few moves, it's amazing to me he is considered an elite player." I am pretty sure I should be a basketball writer.

11:04 - Tattoo head for two. 70-61 at the start of the fourth. Final: 86-80? It could happen. Blech.

10:24 - Uh oh, Anti-Isiah is heating up...

9:03 - It's become the "watch Pierce dribble around" show for the Irish. French Jordan gets an oop from Anthony and the Johnsons. Magic Men up 14. The numbers say there's about an 80% chance the Magic win...

8:26 - And of course MarBURies a three. This could be good or terrible.

7:50 - Check one for "good." 77-68 after another Starburst score.

6:28 - Your defensive player of the year, ladies and gents, posted up by Large Infant.

5:55 - Marbury with the and-one on Dwight Schrute. Unreal. He actually did have this kind of game in him. 83-75. We may be in for a nice finish.

4:55 - Scal with just a great foul on Lewis. I mean, when a guy dribbles baseline well outside the paint, you can't let him do so without sending a message.

4:29 - Do we live in a time when Glenn Davis can make jab-step 18-footers with consistency?

3:56 - Yes. Yes we can. 85-79 Card Tricksters.

When Rob Hubel drops the "In the faaace!" line on The Hangover ad, I can't help but laugh. Also good to see very funny dude Zack Galifianakis in a big movie.

With one or two more big moments, along with the child push and "you motherfuckers!" line at the end of game four, Ey Bay-Bay becomes a must-sign.

3:24 - Pierce can't drive 55. But he can drive for two!!!!! 85-81 Pagans.

2:59 - Lewis with a monster clank job, but Rondo misses a layup.

2:33 - Great feed from Ray with an expiring clock. Perkins with an easy two. 85-83, Celtics ball after a Turkish flail.

1:20 - Ray with a monster three. More of a creature, really. Shuttleworth gives them a lead for the first time in a long while.

1:01 - Of course Rondo whips the loose ball off a Magician for the turnover. Insane comeback in the making.

0:36 - Strange play where the ball may or may not have hit the rim on a Rondo three, resulting in a shot clock violation. Or not. Celtics ball.

0:09 - Celtics get an offensive board on another rim-grazer. Luck of the Irish, I guess. Up by one with an Orlando foul on House.

0:08 - House hits both, Woad Raiders up three. Simmons talked about it today, and I totally agree; win, lose or draw, you can't ask for much more from a defending champion down one of their best players and a score of other injuries.

Here comes a DEN/DAL foul situation...

0:07 - And Pierce wraps Lewis up. It becomes a FT game. Lewis hits both.

0:06 - Ray gets the ball in his hands and is fouled. The 95% FT shooter nails both. Ice water.

0:05 - Just terrible inbounding from Orlando. 55% Howard ends up with it and nylons the first. Of course he does. Intentional miss, Small Toddler gets it and is fouled. If this was the Bulls series, I'd be mortified of something crazy happening now.

0:04 - The Child Pusher hits both. Game. Blouses.

And the Magic make it official. It's really crazy to think Stephon Marbury was integral in this comeback. Like, really fucking crazy.

This was 7/8 a shitty game, with the last half of the last quarter being some entertaining basketball. I've got think this is going seven games. Again. Regardless, heart of a champion.